• “Me: Hey, should I go to a steakhouse or to a sushi place for dinner with my family?” Friend: I think you should go to the steakhouse because you guys know how to make sushi, right?

or

• “Our principal tells us via intercom system some basic announcements. Proceeds with a few innocent reminders about school policy on dress code. Then – “And ladies, please make sure you’re not showing too much cleavage. We don’t want our male students getting distracted!”

As you can read, micro-aggressions are understated attempts at making a point that people would never be open to really saying in normal conversation. Bottom line…be sensitive to how you speak and consider how you think about other people’s race, ethicity or gender But even better, what would happen if we decide we going to start throwing out micr-niceities. Microniceties would be affirming statements that we would say to people at work and in our regular life to affirm what we do well and how we are striving to accomplish our objectives in life in way that brings out the best in us. We could not only use  microniceties in the workplace but could apply them to our personal  relationships, with our kids, our partners  and even our friends. We might tell our co-worker:

• “Thanks for getting your update into me for the meeting scheduled for later in the week. It will help me get things done before my “self-imposed deadline”

Or our partner

• “ I really appreciate you putting away the dishes from the dishwasher. It makes things so much easier around here.

Or our kids

• “ I am so proud of how hard you worked to get that project done for school. I knew you could do it and you should feel good about it…I do!”

Try some micro-niceties today and see if you don’t evoke a smile…on both sides of the conversation]]>