Resilience in Remembrance

Last week, marked the 5th anniversary of the tragic Tree of Life shooting, a day that is remembered forever in the hearts of Pittsburghers. Eleven lives were lost, representing the most significant antisemitic attack in American history. In commemoration, the community held a memorial service in Schenley Park. The atmosphere was tender and connected to a profound sense of support and togetherness. Children from diverse schools welcomed us with their heartfelt artwork created in their classrooms. Friends recognized us, and...

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Hear, Hug, Help: What Do You Do?

As a psychologist, I often listen to friends, colleagues, and family members. People open up when they discover my background, sharing their dilemmas and concerns. It is not unusual for it to occur after they finish making a statement, like “I bet you already have me figured out” (no, I don’t!) In working with my clients in business settings, I focus on understanding clients’ needs for success and offering insights, ideas, and strategies. People are paying for my services and...

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Finding a Path for Resilience When Hatred Strikes

In the wake of Hamas’s horrific attack on Israel, several friends and colleagues expressed their concern and solidarity with me as a Jew. Their gestures were deeply appreciated, as they reminded me that caring and respect still exist in a world sometimes overwhelmed by acts of hatred and cowardice.

I am not a practicing Jew, but my genetic roots trace back to Ashkenazi Jewry. My grandparents came from Ukraine and its surroundings. As a child, our monthly “Cousins Club get-togethers brought our family together for good food and stories from the old country and new. Not that I needed more proof, but my 23andMe results tell me I am 99.5% Jewish.   

This is a bond I hold close to my heart, even though I’ve distanced myself from the religion. Instead, I find spirituality in nature’s wonders rather than men’s teachings. I attribute much of the world’s hatred to organized religion, a sentiment brewing since my early years.

When my friends reached out, I told them that, sadly, I’m not surprised by anything that happens anymore. While this attack feels more personal, it still leaves me feeling like I did when Russia invaded Ukraine or when Nikolas Cruz killed 17 people at Marjory Stone Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. It’s numbing and disheartening to realize that my ability to be resilient in the face of global hatred is compromised.

Responding to these global events is difficult. Like many others, I grapple with the best way to cope and determine the best actions. Several Jewish friends and family post on Facebook that they are “not okay” and need more support and connection. Others analyze what is happening and pursue relevant information to help them understand the situation. Sometimes, I think I should head to Kyiv or Tel Aviv and see what I can contribute. Comedian Pete Davidson suggested that humor could be a pathway to sanity in his heartfelt opening to Saturday Night Live this past weekend.

One of my teachers,  Cynthia Winton Henry, emphasized the importance of discerning where we gather information. Mainstream media, cable news, and social platforms bombard us with distressing stories designed to ignite our nervous system. These actions activate our amygdala and heighten our stress levels. Cynthia recommends seeking firsthand accounts and analyses on platforms like Substack. In addition, she pointed me to the Center for Countering Digital Hate and their post, How to navigate disinformation and propaganda and to practice information resilience.

For now, I am making donations, engaging in meaningful conversations with others, heading to the gym, and taking contemplative walks in the woods, meditating on themes as varied as righteous revenge, hope, and fairness for all sides.

And if anyone is interested, I’ve got a joke about a Priest, Imam, and Rabbi who all went out to play golf together.

© Richard Citrin 2023

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Chalking Up Resilience

Simone Biles was back on the floor this past week in Antwerp, Belgium, along with all the other apparatuses of women’s gymnastics. She won the World all-around competition for the sixth time. It was just two years ago when Ms. Biles withdrew from the Olympic competition when she experienced the “twisties” while doing her vaults, a phenomenon where the gymnast loses their kinesthetic sense of where she is in the air. She shared that she needed to step away from...

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Silo Busting in Rome: A Tale of Unity

It happened in Rome this past weekend, where the stage was set for a classic showdown, a battle not of gladiators but of teamwork versus individual effort. The forty-third Ryder Cup, golf’s ultimate team competition, unfolded as the USA’s finest golfers faced off against their European counterparts. This event spanned three days, with the initial two days dedicated to team play and the final day reserved for individual performances. Historically, the US had triumphed 27 times to Europe’s 14, with...

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Working While Sleeping

I’ve never believed people who tell me they work 80-100 hours/week. That would mean they worked 12 hours or more every single day of the week. Highly improbable This past weekend, however, I came across another model for how someone could work that many hours. Working while sleeping My wife, Sheila Collins, is working on her fourth book, The Art of Grieving. She is diligent in her work, heading down to her studio seven days a week to write. During...

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